I came back from Rutland Gate a little after one, and made tea, because there was nobody in the house to make it and because a man who has been talked at for three hours wants five minutes in which nothing is said to him.
Then I went up to the study with the cup in my hand to write the morning down while I had it.
He was sitting at my desk with the lamp lit in the daylight and my notebook open in front of him, and he had found the tobacco.
I did not drop the cup. I record that because for some years afterwards I told the story as though I had.
"Sit down, Mr Conrad," said Worth. "It is your room. I am aware of the difficulty."
Conrad
"How long have you been here?"
"Two hours and a little. Your woman goes out at eleven and the area door has a lock that I should be embarrassed to describe to you." He closed the notebook without marking his place, which I noticed. "I have read about forty pages of that and I make no apology at all. If you had come in at twelve you would have found me by the window doing nothing, and I should have had to be dramatic, and I have never cared for it. I got bored."
Conrad
"You have escaped."
Worth
"I have not escaped. I dislike the word and it is inaccurate. Escape involves a wall.
Worth
"There is a man in that room this afternoon. He is about my height and rather younger, and he is being paid a good deal more than he could earn at liberty, and Mr Pike carries in his dinner and calls him sir. If you were to go there on Monday and ask for Victor Waldon you would be shown to him. Victor Waldon has not been anywhere."
Conrad
"And if they compare him to the man who was brought in in May?"
"Then somebody will have to explain how they came to book a man for eleven weeks without once writing down what he looked like," said Worth, "and I should be interested to read it."
I asked him what he wanted.
Worth
"You have been to Kensington twice. I asked you in July to tell me what you got out of the old man and you said that you would, and I have been sitting in a warm room for eight weeks waiting to be told, and I am not a patient man. I have simply had a great deal of practice at appearing to be one.
Worth
"Sit down. I am going to make you an offer and you will not like the first half of it. I will answer whatever you ask me about the twenty-eighth of May. All of it. I have not told any of it to any person living and I have had four months to arrange it in my head, and I shall not colour it, because I do not need to and because you would catch me.
Worth
"And then you will tell me what he said."
I sat down, and he got out of my chair and took the other one, which was a piece of manners I have thought about since.
"Very well," I said. "Begin with this. The painter was there."
"Sickert." Worth did not look surprised. "Yes. In the corner, on a stool, painting the room. How do you know that?"
Conrad
"You told me. In July, in a cell, when you were a dock labourer."
"So I did." He almost smiled. "Then I shall tell you something that will spoil your afternoon, because it spoiled four months of mine.
Worth
"He is the reason any of it happened.
Worth
"Nobody bought him, so far as I know, and I have looked. He was not paid and I do not believe he was told anything. He simply went about for three weeks in February asking, in rooms which belong to Darby Sabini, whether it was true that Darby Sabini had taken the wharves.
Worth
"That is all it needed. A gentleman in a good coat, with a name people know, going from house to house putting the same question. Within a fortnight Sabini knew there was something, and knew roughly what the something believed, and knew it had money behind it, because that sort of man does not ask those questions for himself."
"He was verifying it," I said. "For a man who could not verify it any other way."
"Yes. And in verifying it he announced it." Worth turned his hand over. "I have not been able to be angry about that. It is the same mistake the old man made in the police station, from the other end. You cannot ask a question in a small world without the world learning what you are asking."
Worth
"Now the house, and this is the part where I want you to understand that I have revised my opinion of Darby Sabini twice, and that the second revision was upward, and that I did not enjoy it.
Worth
"They were not meeting at the Three Harpies. Not at first. They met at the Anchor and Hope, which is the next house but one, and which has a back room with its own stair, and they had used it four or five times by the end of March.
Worth
"Sabini did not raid it. He did not put a man in it and he did not burn it and he did not have anybody followed, and any one of those would have been what I expected and what I would have done.
Worth
"He bought them. Both of them. The Anchor first and the Harpies a week later — the leases through a house agent, in the ordinary way, at a price nobody quarrelled with, and the whole thing took eleven days.
Worth
"Then he closed the Anchor for repairs.
Worth
"There is nowhere else. That is what you must understand about a district like that. Two streets, a certain kind of respectability, a back room with a stair — there is precisely one other house that will do, and it was two hundred yards away and it was his.
Worth
"They walked into it themselves. Nobody drove them. They found the Anchor shut and they went along to the Harpies and they took the upstairs room and they were pleased about it, because it was quieter."
Conrad
"And Sabini?"
"Behind his own bar, in his shirtsleeves, with a cloth, three nights in five." Worth shook his head. "Not in a room above. Not watching from a doorway. Pulling their beer. Nobody looks at a publican. I have spent thirty years making myself invisible and it has cost me a good deal of thought and a certain amount of money, and that man achieved it by rolling his sleeves up."
Worth
"Then we watched, and it was easy, and that ought to have made me uneasy and did not.
Worth
"The old gentleman came four times in May, each time with a different person, and not once with the same one twice. He did the sensible things. But he came in daylight to a public house in Limehouse four times in a month, and a man of that age and that coat in that street is remembered by every child on it.
Worth
"And on the eleventh he made a booking. The upstairs room and the two chambers above, for the night of the twenty-eighth of May, for eleven or twelve. Paid in part. Written in the book in the ordinary way, in the landlord's hand.
Worth
"I have seen that entry. It is in Sabini's own writing, because Sabini took the booking.
Worth
"He told me the same evening, and he was delighted, and so was I. Do you see the position it put us in? We knew where the whole of them would be, and on what night, and how many, in a house that belonged to us, with our own man serving.
Worth
"So we made ready. The week before, our people were in there every evening drinking, because a strange face is remarkable and eleven strange faces are not if there are thirty of you. And we moved the regular custom out — free drink at two other houses, and a shilling here and there, and a word to the foremen that the Harpies was going to be quiet for a while. By the last week of May there was nobody in that place on a payday who had ever drunk in it before."
"I know," I said.
He looked at me for a moment.
"Yes," said Worth. "You do."
Conrad
"Now the night, and here I am going to be less use to you than you want.
Conrad
"The booking was for the twenty-eighth. A great many of them came on the twenty-seventh.
Conrad
"That was the eclipse.
Conrad
"And I want to be exact here, because I have heard it put about since as though they came early in order to watch it in company, and they did nothing of the kind. Most of those people had never set eyes on one another. They had been written to separately by an old man in Kensington, and what they had in common was a letter.
Conrad
"They each moved by a day on their own account, privately, and not one of them had said a word of it to any of the others. They found it out on the night. There was a quarter of an hour of it going round that room — you as well? and you? — and they were all faintly embarrassed about it, and afterwards they were a good deal easier with each other than they had been, which I noticed at the time and did not think about for a moment.
Conrad
"It was going to be the only one most of them would ever see. A clergyman, a nurse, a boxer, a prison man and a surgeon of seventy-three each decided, separately, in a different part of England, that they were not going to miss it. And every one of them shifted by one day. And everything that happened afterwards sits on that."
Worth
"They came in from about six on the twenty-seventh, in ones and twos. Doctor Bell. The old surgeon, Lister, who had to be helped up the step. Mrs Pankhurst, who arrived by herself and looked at the room the way an inspector looks at a kitchen. Du Cane. The clergyman. The soldier — the young one with the hole in him, who had been in the district a week already and had made himself known to everybody. The nurse. Gunn came in at nine and stood by the door and did not sit down once all night.
Worth
"And ours. Kimber down from Birmingham, in a suit that cost more than the house. Gardstein and two of his. McLean, who should not have been anywhere. The lawyer, who did not know what he was in and drank lemonade. Helfeld and Lepidus, who I had told to stay outside and who did not.
Worth
"Jack was there. I want that in your book, whatever else goes in it. He sat at the end of the long table for five hours and was pleasant to a nurse.
Worth
"And there were two I could not place at all, and they cost me the best part of the night.
Worth
"An old man with a black dog, who sat by the fire, and a cat that came in with him and would not be moved. And a small woman with a portfolio who told fortunes with cards at the corner table for anybody who asked, and drank very little, and was the only person in that room who looked at me twice. I have since been told they called her Pixie.
Worth
"And what settled it for me, and what I sat and watched for the better part of an hour, was that his people did not know them either.
Worth
"I saw the clergyman ask the nurse who the old man by the fire was, and the nurse shake her head, and the nurse ask Du Cane, and Du Cane look round the room for somebody worth asking. Nobody greeted either of them. Nobody named them. The soldier went and sat down with the woman for twenty minutes and came away none the wiser, because I asked one of ours to go and sit where he had been sitting.
Worth
"And nobody was put out by them, which is the part I have never got to the bottom of. Both sides spent that evening quietly trying to find out who had brought them in, and neither side had.
Worth
"They were not ours and they were not his, and they walked into a house that had been emptied of strangers on the one night in the year when it mattered."
Conrad
"Where was Galton?"
"He was not there," said Worth. "That is the other thing I have looked at more times than is good for me.
Worth
"He booked the room. He paid a part of it. He had come four times in a month to a house he had no business in, at some risk, to talk to people one at a time. And on the night his eleven guests slept under that roof he was in his own bed in Kensington, and he came down in the morning, and he arrived — this is the piece I cannot put down — he arrived after it went up."
"He was in the street," I said.
Worth
"He was in the street when it went up. I am not telling you he did it. I have no reason of any kind to think so and I have looked hard for one.
Worth
"I am telling you that a man of seventy-eight booked a room for eleven people, did not sleep in the house, and was not in it when it came down, and that is the only sentence in this entire business that I cannot get to lie flat."
Worth
"They stayed the night, all of them, ours and his, under one roof.
Worth
"Nothing happened. That is the thing nobody will believe and it is the truth. There was no quarrel on the twenty-seventh. It was a public house with a great many people in it, and after eleven o'clock or so some of them got on rather well. The soldier and one of Gardstein's argued about Africa for an hour. Somebody sang. The nurse sat with the old surgeon and they talked about a hospital.
Worth
"I went up at two, and I was asleep from about half past. I cannot tell you what any person in that building did between then and the morning. Men went up and down those stairs all night. Anybody who tells you he knows what happened in that house between two and eight o'clock is telling you what he has worked out since.
Worth
"I know one thing about the stairs and it is the worst thing I know.
Worth
"Bose was on the landing.
Worth
"He had been in and out all evening with messages, which was his work, and nobody remarked it. He went up about midnight and he did not come down, and I took it that he was asleep in the passage, which he often was.
Worth
"He was not asleep in the passage. He was waiting for Sabini to go up to bed.
Worth
"I did not know that then. I put it together afterwards out of four things he had said to me in the fortnight before, none of which meant anything on its own and all of which mean one thing now. That boy had carried our messages for six months. He had gone to the police in January and been beaten in a yard for it — I did not learn that until August — and by May he had understood that nobody was coming.
Worth
"So he had decided to do it himself."
Conrad
"I woke to the shooting.
Conrad
"That is the first correction I have to make to whatever you have been told, and it is the one that matters. It did not begin with the eclipse. The eclipse had not happened yet.
Conrad
"They had come down for their breakfast — most of them, ours and his, in the main room, at that hour when a house is at its most ordinary — and they were going to go out afterwards and look at the sky. That was the arrangement. That was what the whole of them had moved their lives by a day for.
Conrad
"Not one of them saw it. I want that written down somewhere. Eleven people changed their plans to be in that road on that morning and there was not a soul in the street when it came.
Conrad
"I do not know who fired first and I never shall, and I was not the only man in that building asking himself the question while it was going on.
Conrad
"When I got the door open it was already pandemonium, and I want that word, because I have tried others and they are all too orderly. It was not two sides. There was no line anywhere in it. There were people running in a narrow house in both directions and most of them did not know what they were running from, and the ones who were shooting could not have told you what they were shooting at.
Conrad
"I got as far as the head of the stairs.
Conrad
"And then it began to get dark.
Conrad
"I had forgotten it entirely. So had everybody else in that house, and I have thought since that this is the only forgivable thing any of us did that morning.
Conrad
"It came on over about two or three minutes. The light went brown — not grey, brown, and thin, like a lamp being turned down by a hand — and the noise in that room changed before anybody understood why. Men stopped in the middle of what they were doing to look at a window.
Conrad
"Somebody down there shouted that it was the smoke. It was not the smoke.
Conrad
"And in the middle of it the birds stopped, over the whole of that district at once, and if you have never heard the river go quiet at eight in the morning I cannot describe it to you and I shall not try.
Conrad
"There were perhaps forty seconds in which almost nothing happened. And then it was very much worse, because a man who is frightened in the dark is a different animal from a man who is frightened in the light, and half of them could not see who was in front of them any longer."
Worth
"I shall give you what I saw in the order I saw it. It is not much and it does not join up.
Worth
"On the turn of the landing, in that brown light, Bose went at Sabini.
Worth
"He came off the wall where he had been standing all morning like part of the wall, and he took him about the chest, and they went into the banister together. It was not a fight as you would put it in a book. They were close in and one of them had the other's wrist and there was a knife somewhere between them, and I could not see whose it was. It lasted about as long as it takes to say this.
Worth
"That was the boy who wrote a statement in January and asked nine times who was going to read it, and in May he had worked out that nobody was.
Worth
"Then the screaming started from below.
Worth
"Not from the main room. From under it. There is a cellar under that house and there was no reason on this earth for a living soul to be in it, and there were people in it and they were screaming. A woman screamed twice and I could not tell you which woman and I have not tried.
Worth
"And the soldier went down.
Worth
"He came through from the main room at a run with that revolver of his that the old man had paid for, and he did not go out of the front door, which was six feet from him and open. He went down the cellar stair towards the screaming. And Lepidus went after him — after him, four or five seconds behind, and I do not know to this day whether he went down to stop him or to help him or for some reason of his own, and Helfeld was on the stair behind Lepidus.
Worth
"I never saw any of the three of them again.
Worth
"And the lawyer — Gandhi, the young Indian gentleman who did not know one thing about what he was in — was standing perfectly still in the middle of that room with his eyes shut while men went round him both ways in the half-dark, saying one word over and over. Two syllables. The same two, again and again. He was not shouting it. I do not know the language and I have not tried to find out what it was, and I have thought about that man more often than about anybody else in that house."
Worth
"And what was I doing, Mr Conrad?
Worth
"I was looking for Jack.
Worth
"I want it in your book in those words. The house was coming apart, and there was screaming under the floor, and a boy of nineteen was on the landing with a knife, and I went along that upstairs passage opening doors, because of every soul in that building there was exactly one who was not going to walk out of it, and I had put him in there myself, and he was mine to deal with.
Worth
"I did not find him. I got four doors along.
Worth
"Then it went up. From below — from the same place the screaming had come from — and about twenty minutes after the light had come back, and I felt the floor go before I heard anything, which I am told is the usual order."
He was quiet for a time.
"Where was the old man in all that?" I said.
"I have no idea," said Worth. "Nobody has. He was not in the house at two in the morning, and he was not in that room at breakfast, and he was not on those stairs, and thirty people in the road will tell you he was standing in it at the moment the front came out, and I have spoken to two of them and they are not lying.
Worth
"Between those two facts there are about nine hours and not one person alive who can account for them, and that is not an accusation, it is arithmetic.
Worth
"There were twenty-odd people in that house. Some are dead and named. Some are dead and not named. A good many are simply not anywhere — not buried, not charged, not at their lodgings, not written to their people.
Worth
"And there are two men in England this afternoon who were at the Three Harpies on the twenty-eighth of May and can still answer a question about it. One of them is sitting in your chair. The other is in Kensington with a hole in his head and a rug over his knees, and you have been to see him twice."
He got up then and went to the window and stood with his back to me, which he had not done once in either of the prison conversations, and when he spoke again he did not turn round.
"I said there was a piece missing," said Worth. "That is what I have told the police, and the doctors, and you, half an hour ago.
Worth
"It is not entirely true. I have some of it. I have wished a great deal that I had not, and I have not given it to one living person, and I am going to give it to you now, and when I have I would be obliged if you did not ask me anything about it."
I said that I would not ask him anything.
"You will," said Worth. "But say it.
Worth
"I came to covered in blood. Not bleeding. Covered. My suit was not a suit any longer, it was strings, and there was a hole in my side that I could have put my hand into and I have the mark of it still.
Worth
"And I was alive. I should like you to sit with that for a moment, because I have sat with it for four months. I was alive, and I was on the stones twenty yards up the road from that building, and I have never been able to give an account of either fact.
Worth
"There was a young man kneeling over me screaming into my face.
Worth
"I could not hear him at first. There was a whistling and under the whistling nothing at all. Then some of it came back, and what he was screaming was this, and I give it to you exactly:
Worth
"I brought you back so that I could kill you with my own hands. Look at what you have done."
"His name is Aleister Crowley," said Worth. "He is about five and twenty. He writes verse that nobody buys and he belongs to one of those societies that fall out with one another in the newspapers.
Worth
"I sent for him in February. When a man sets out to find who in London is buying the dead, he works down through the trade and the schools and the hospitals, and at the bottom of it he arrives at the sort of person who plays at magic, because they are the only others in England with a use for a corpse. So I had him asked to call on me.
Worth
"He would not come. He sent back four lines declining and they were rude, and I remember thinking it was the first honest thing anybody had sent me that month.
Worth
"He was not invited to that house. He was not ours. He was not the old man's — ask him yourself and watch his face when you say the name. Nobody in England put Aleister Crowley in that road on the twenty-eighth of May.
Worth
"And he was in it, on his knees, with my blood on his coat, using my right name.
Worth
"And there is a worse piece of it than that. I have since taken some trouble over that society of his. It is not a large body and it does not advertise, and a determined man with money can find out more about it than its members would care for.
Worth
"The old fellow with the black dog by the fire is in it, or was, or is spoken of in it as a sort of authority. The little woman with the cards is in it. Crowley is in it.
Worth
"Three people. Not one of whom was sent for by me, and not one of whom was sent for by the old man in Kensington, and all three in the same building on the same night, out of a society of that size, in a district none of them has any business in.
Worth
"And there was a fourth."
Conrad
"Another stranger?"
"No," said Worth. "That is the whole of my difficulty. It is not a stranger.
Worth
"I have it from their own side — bought, and I paid a great deal for it and I believe it — that there were four of their people under that roof on the twenty-eighth. Three I have named to you. The fourth was not one of the two who walked in uninvited.
Worth
"So the fourth is one of ours or one of his. Somebody who was written to by Kensington in March, or somebody I hired myself and paid and gave work to. Somebody sitting at that table with a reason for being there that any man in the room could have told you, and a second reason that nobody could.
Worth
"It is one of about twenty people, and I recruited half of them, and I have been down that list every night since the middle of June."
Conrad
"Who do you think it is?"
"If I knew that," said Worth, "I should not be sitting in your study.
Worth
"As to the rest of what he said to me, I am not going to tell you what I think he meant by brought you back. I have one hole in my side, a suit in ribbons, no recollection of crossing twenty yards of road, and no explanation of any kind, and I have decided that I would rather have no explanation than a cheap one."
Conrad
"So I looked at what I had done.
Conrad
"The front of the house was gone and the middle of it was burning, and the floor of the main room was not there any longer. It had come down whole into the cellar, and the cellar was open to the morning, and there was a hell in it. I use the word because I have tried the others for four months and none of them is any better and most of them are worse.
Conrad
"There was a creature in that cellar.
Conrad
"It had been a man and it was the size of two, and the blast had taken it in half across the middle. Its legs were on the far side of that cellar, apart from it, and they were still going — kicking, jerking, the way a killed rabbit does — and the rest of it was not dead either. It was crawling. It was pulling itself along the brick on its arms with nothing below the ribs, and it was doing it slowly, and it was in an amount of pain that I have not got the words for and do not intend to look for them.
Conrad
"And it was sewn.
Conrad
"That is the thing. All over. There was a line right round each shoulder, black and drawn tight, and the skin either side of the line did not match, not in colour and not in kind. The arms were the wrong size for any man and they were joined on. Across the chest and along the upper arms the muscle had been built up in lumps and laid on in strips over what was already there, and stitched down, and stitched carefully — that is the part I cannot put away, that it was neat — muscle put on top of muscle by somebody who was taking his time and doing it properly.
Conrad
"And it was opened by the blast, and what came out of it would not have come out of you or me. There was a great deal too much. It went on being too much.
Conrad
"And I understood, kneeling in that road, what the paper had been for. Not then in any orderly way. It went through me the way cold water does.
Conrad
"There is no patient. There never was a patient."
"And that is the cellar," said Worth. "There was more above it and I saw that too.
Worth
"On the floor of the bar, at the edge where the boards still held, there was a pile of bodies and it was burning. A pile. Stacked, the way you stack anything, one across another, and alight.
Worth
"And there was a woman dragging a second lot towards it.
Worth
"She was not running out of that building, and she was not pulling anybody clear of the fire, which is what a decent person does and what I should have said I would do. She was taking them to it. She was doing it steadily and she was on her third or fourth when I lost sight of her, and she had her sleeves up.
Worth
"I did not know her then. I have since had a very good description of a young woman who goes about burning things for the suffrage, and I am satisfied that it was Mary Richardson, and I have no notion on this earth what she was doing in that house or whose side she was on or whether there were any sides left by then."
Worth
"Crowley was still shouting at me through all of it. And then he stopped.
Worth
"He stopped in the middle of a word, and he took hold of my chin and turned my face to look at him properly, and he looked at me for what I should think was five or six seconds.
Worth
"And he said: You are surprised.
Worth
"And then: This is not your doing, is it.
Worth
"It was not a question and I did not answer it. I had not said one word to him from the beginning and I did not say one then.
Worth
"And he let go of me and sat back on his heels in the road and said the last thing I have from that morning, and he said it quite quietly, and it is the only sentence out of the whole of the twenty-eighth of May that I can give you word for word and swear to.
Worth
"Someone has been dabbling with forces they do not comprehend, Mr Worth. I hope for all our sakes that they perished in the explosion.
Worth
"Then I went out. And then I was in a hospital. And then I was in a cell being called sir."
Worth stayed at the window with his back to me.
"You may ask it now," said Worth. "You have been holding it since the cellar and it is making you unhappy."
Conrad
"What was it?"
Worth
"I do not know. I have no word for it and I have hunted for one, and every word I have found is a word out of a book, and I am not going to use a word out of a book for a thing I looked at in a public road in daylight.
Worth
"And before you offer it to me, I have had the other answer already, from a doctor who was very kind about it. A man with a head wound and a great deal of blood gone will see things that are not in front of him, and see them in detail, and go on being certain of them for the rest of his life. That is a complete answer and I have no way round it and neither have you.
Worth
"I have not made it go away and I have tried. A man does not think about a thing four hundred times and have it stay the same. It stays the same.
Worth
"And a fancy does not answer a question you have been carrying for a year. That is the piece the doctor cannot have.
Worth
"Because I knew what that paper was for. I had known since November and I had it wrong, and so did you, and so would any sensible person in England.
Worth
"Measurements. Six of them, and colouring, and the frame and not the weight. Anybody who reads that reads it one way. He is matching. He has a sick man somewhere in a good house, and he is trying to put a piece of one person into another person and keep them both alive, and he has decided the way to do it is to find somebody near enough to pass. I sat in Newcastle and worked that out and was rather pleased with myself, and I have heard since that it is what a very eminent man would have told you as well.
Worth
"It is wrong.
Worth
"You do not measure for a patient. There is no patient. The measurements are so that the parts will go together — so that the arm will sit on the shoulder and the thing will be of a piece and not a rubbish heap. He was not matching a donor to a man. He was matching them to each other.
Worth
"And that is why the children need no measuring at all, and why he wants any of them and all of them and pays three times over and never asks what they look like.
Worth
"They are not for matching. They are the material."
"You cannot know that," I said.
"No," said Worth. "I saw it."
He came away from the window then and sat down on the arm of the other chair, which is a thing a man does when he has decided to stay another hour.
"Now," said Worth. "One more thing, and then I shall go out the way I came in.
Worth
"You are in Kensington again on Thursday week. When you are there, put something to him for me. Lightly. In the middle of something else, and not as though it came from anybody.
Worth
"Ask him about the house. Not the morning — the house. Who held that lease before Sabini bought it. What the place was before it was a public house. Whether anybody ever told him there was a cellar under—"
And that was as far as he got, because somebody knocked at my front door.
It was not a caller's knock.